The addition of a new baby brings many changes to a family. Often times, one of the concerns parents note is about about how their older children will react to the birth of a new sibling. I know this was one of my concerns as we prepared for the birth of our second child. It is just as important to consider how we as parents will adjust to having an additional child in our family.
Each child’s response to the birth of a new sibling is different, but there are things that parents can do to help the adjustment go as smoothly as possible. Please don’t let the list of tips I share here overwhelm you. You do not need to implement all of these ideas. Pick and choose which ideas work for you and your child.
Here are some tips to help your child prepare for the birth of a new sibling:
- Discuss pregnancy in a way that your child understands. When deciding what information to share with your children, consider their age and ability to comprehend the concepts you want to discuss. Follow your child’s lead in deciding how much or how often to discuss your pregnancy.
- Help your child understand what to expect when their new sibling is born. Again, follow your child’s lead in determining how much conversation is directed to this area.
- Show your children their baby pictures and tell them stories about what they were like as a baby.
- Visit family members or friends who have infants.
- Consider a sibling birth class. See the note at the end of this article for a local opportunity for this type of class scheduled in June.
- Make sure your older children understand your plans for their care during the birth of their new sibling.
- Keep routines as consistent as possible before and after the new sibling arrives. But, also be forgiving of yourself and your child when the routine needs to be altered.
- Consider brainstorming and planning activities that can keep your older children occupied when you need undivided attention to tend to your infant.
- Discuss and create special times to spend 1-on-1 with your older child/children during your pregnancy and after the birth of their younger sibling.
- Include your child in preparing for and caring for their new sibling.
- Consider including your child in visits to the doctor/midwife or other providers.
- If you will be going to the hospital, invite your child to help you pack a hospital bag.
- Include your child in choosing items for the baby or decorating a space for the baby.
- Think of special jobs that your older child can do to help care for your infant.
Here are some tips to help you prepare for the addition of a new baby to your family:
- Be prepared for a variety of emotional responses from your child during your pregnancy and following the birth of a new sibling. Some responses you may see are anxiety, excitement, confusion, disinterest, jealousy and more.
- If your older child seems a little more distant from you, try not to take your older child’s reaction personally. They may just need a little space to adjust to the birth of their new sibling. Continue to reassure your older children that you love them.
- Be prepared for some setbacks with milestones for your older children following the birth of a younger sibling. For example, your child may experience some difficulties with sleeping or toileting.
- Be forgiving of yourself if you do not have as much patience as you normally do or respond in a way that you later regret.
- Allow yourself time to adjust and create new routines for your growing family.
- Think about how to create moments for self care.
The birth of a new sibling is an adjustment for both children and parents, but I hope a few of these ideas may help this process go more smoothly for your family.
Sarah is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who practices in Eagan, Minnesota. Sarah offers support to children and adolescents and their families by providing therapy services and educational workshops. For more information please visit www.sarahleitschuhcounseling.com. View another of Sarah's contributing articles, "Emotions," by clicking on the link.
On June 24, 2015, Sarah is collaborating with Veronica Jacobsen from BabyLove to offer an affordable workshop called Your Growing Family: Preparing parents and siblings for the birth of a new baby. For more information or to register, visit here.
